451. I TRY TO LOVE

9:19:00 AM


I try to love my body... And it has been a struggle for a couple of years now. Especially since I'm less active due to my fibromyalgia, but also because of different circumstances that happend in the past. Those who often read my personal stories know what I've been through in 2017 and that it's still a daily battle to stay strong when my body doesn't want too. But hey! It's 2018 now, it's almost summer as well, so let's make a change!

It's clear that I've accepted who I am. A stubborn girl with a big mouth that speaks before she thinks with a "soft" curved body. My character has been like that since I was a little kid, also during school and nothing will change that, ever. I am who I am, just as you are you. We all have our small flaws, parts of our body we're insecure of, but most of all we all have amazing strengths that are making us unique. My body started to change once I went into my twenties. From a 34 to a 38, last summer I even had a 40 and now I'm stabilized to a Medium/38, which I'm perfectly fine with. However it's a fact that Social Media isn't helping us at all. At least, it doesn't for me. Every single day I'm confronted by those small, perfect body, and healthy looking ladies. I admire them for keeping their body in such a good shape, but I know I will never get to that level. It's just not me. Skipping my pizzas, pancakes and all those other sugar things I love, would make me so unhappy. Even though I admire their dedication to sport and eat healthy, it still makes me sad from time to time that I can't wear a cropped top without have a little roll popping out from the side, while loving the outfit so much. And there is the 'rebel' voice again: wear whatever you want, because you're perfect the way you are!

About two years ago I started with fitness, after work, and my abs were coming through after three to four months. I still have that picture in my phone to remind me of what's possible with my body structure. Since my fibromyalgia I quit any kind of sports due to the extreme muscles pain, headaches, lack of energy, etc. But since the beginning of April something clicked into my head and I need to change. Little by little I'm doing some exercises again, not too many or I won't be able to get out of bed the next day, but some lunges, a couple of minutes of running, and those small steps will make a big change. I realized that complaining about my small butt, fat rolls and my 'cropped top'-story won't change if I don't change my life a little bit as well. So no huge changes, I still eat what I love to eat, but I do force myself now to move a little more even though it may cause some muscles pain. I'm even going to train for 8 weeks with a personal coach who does understand my difficulties and I can't wait to get some results. Maybe one day I will be wearing my bathing suits again with full confidence! That's my goal! For me and myself.

Talking about bathing suits... This small clothing piece is the only item in our closet that makes us wish to have that flat stomach or perfect butt (next to nightwear) of course. But hey! Lately there are so many nice swimwear items that cover up our insecure parts and even I got some while I never thought I would leave my bikini's aside. In Iceland I was also wearing a high waist model and I got some nice styles for in Ibiza as well! Let me show you some of my favorites from Esprit, as they have different shape wear styles! Let's all shine this summer, with our perfect bodies. #lovemybody


1. Black bikini top with see-through effect
2. Geometric printed swimsuit
3. Tropical printed swimsuit
4. Black shape wear bikini bottom

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